This season my heart has stopped and rested...and quit Christmas in some ways. I didnt get things down from the attic or buy a tree. Depression and lack of funds may very well be involved, but i sense something deeper calling me back home to what i believe....wanting to sift through attempts to make the season "bright" on my own. I want to leave it bare and remember what filled the emptiness a long time ago...and what fills emptiness now.
Everyone deals with Christmas differently at different times in their lives.
I cherish the moments of wonder my parents gave me as a child....the love...the presents ...the stories of Santa and reindeer....the egg nog and fresh Christmas tree smell....the drives to Kansas City ...the snow, the family. All great joy....pointing me to the Maker of all great things. I cherish those times....i want those times for Bennett.
But this Christmas for me feels quiet in my heart. The picture painted with words would look like: A little girl looking up at a starry night sky...fresh fallen snow all around...Glowing white against black of night.....muffling the world quiet. Not a sound is heard except the hush of snow falling and the spoken sentence from my mouth: let us adore Him...
no melody...just spoken quiet like the snow....no one around..just me and Him and quiet.
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Thank you for sharing your heart with us, friend. I agree with so many parts and can relate on some levels. It's a hard season, but it's amazing how God reveals Himself to us during these times. It's breath taking.
Bennett is so very blessed to have a mother who's heart yearns for God the way it does...
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