and here i feel at home

Sometimes, when Bennett is bored or sick he says to me "mama, i want to go home". I immediately feel sad that he would say such a thing when we are already at home. I AM HOME aren't I? mama is your home..you lived in my belly and i was your home...why dont you feel at home?... and yet,  I know what he's saying. I know that eternity tugs at his little heart ( just like mine) and the longings yell for  deeper, better places. For still waters and green pastures and the only One who can lead him there.

The rush of my days are spinning us around and around....we go here, we go there...to this play date and that. I work, he works...they whine, they cry, we laugh ..we play, we dig deep and grow roots into this Tennessee soil and never stop to ask ....is this home?

 I am not stopping enough to draw Water...i am not stopping enough. I am a thirsty mama....that keeps walking on ....bringing herself and her kids sand and not water.

Tonight we came home from a party of friends....friends i feel "at home" with mostly, but not tonight. Deep called to deep and i wanted more....it humbled me small, like a child again. I wanted to get tucked into bed and shut my eyes tight...with a strong steady hand brushing my hair back goodnight.

so i crawled into bed with my boys. and did just that....brushed their hair back goodnight, and sang soft in their ears. With a strong steady hand i lifted up prayers and finally felt at home....

.i came to the Water. i brought the kids there.. and finally felt at home.