It's harder and harder to blog

The Christmas Tree and the half-naked wrestling Mann that fights bad buys

I envisioned life getting easier as the kids got older, as my hands got free, as they became more self sufficient. Instead, play dates and homework, tantrums and new obligations fill the day and exhaustion and photo edits fill the night lately. Sitting down to a computer to blog is a real luxury that i long for today!!

In trying to make it happen, this blog has already taken me a few hours with the off and on interruption. ha ha...but "here tis!"

As i try to blog again my 3 year old tugs and pulls on my sleeve verbally, yelling "Please may you give me grape juice?!.....( then louder)." MOM, PLEASE MAY YOU GIVE ME GRAPE JUICE... ( repeat louder and louder). I love how he throws the polite words together " please and may" thinking this will speed up the process.

I must stop to retrieve the juice or all hell is gonna break loose and i'll never finish the blog. Yep, i said "hell",  which feels nice since i can't say inappropriate words around the kiddos. I feel censored half the time as a mama...only in my head are my real feelings circling round and round till they calm down and take a back seat . Never to be seen or known. ( except by baby Jesus..whom i love and need desperately this holiday as i look over in my neighbors yard and see their flashing front yard Santa clause holding an electronic sign that COUNTS DOWN THE DAYS TO CHRISTMAS!  It is flashing the number 19 in my face as if to say...you have 19 days to get your act together)

As i type the little one toots and toots smelly toots until i ask him " do you need to go poo poo?" He smiles and laughs and runs to the toilet. Yep. I gotta stop blogging to wipe poop and read a book to the little pooper. Yet, i do love this little pooper.

 I actually love being at home with my boys. I wouldn't trade it for the world. Except sometimes the world whispers things in my ear like  " GO GET MONEY you poor fool "  and it's a real honest battle each day to think that staying home with these cutie pies is enough. I want them to be our priority, not money or things...but when it's needed for me to work outside these walls.. i must embark out the door to "get money".  That day will come soon enough,i think,  but for now. I AM THANKFUL!!

I miss Bennett fiercely when he is at school. Yesterday he had a play date after school and i didn't get to see him till after dark.
At bedtime I crawled up into his bunkbed with him and we talked, i scratched his little back that is getting bigger day by day and rubbed the blond hair on the head that is learning so much at  school....away from me.

As the cold rain hit the window in a sleepy rhythm Bennett fell asleep and i let the tears fall down my cheek quietly as i prayed for him and heard his little breaths. Amos all the while saying " mom, i want you to sleep with me!!! over and over till he too fell asleep" After wards...i laid with him...prayed and THANKED THE LORD FOR MY BOYS!!!

I am thankful for Kevin too.....He was breaking up the kitchen wall with hammer and Chisel while i got the boys to sleep. We are re-doing some things in our kitchen, floor, exposing the chimney ..new windows..etc. .....we like to work on projects together when we get the chance. It's fun.


Amos is now running around half naked shooting bad guys. The house is lit up with Christmas lights and the warmth of little life and little sounds. A pine candy smell fills the room as i type and makes me forget the worries of the world for a minute. ....until Amos asks me to stop typing and get up and fight him cuz he's a bad guy that "needs wrestle time" ..

Now he's is asking for lunch and i gotta go. I gotta get Bennett out of school early for bad weather and  drop off photos for a photo shoot . .. i'm thankful for this moment in time....to blog for a second.  I can't wait to scoop Bennett up in my arms and have BOTH boys home for extended hours today. Of course sibling fighting and tattle telling will ensue....a day in the life.....