Butterfly Sparks Designs

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Some days are better than others


a cork board for Bennett's room i made out of old branches....Kevin used the saw and almost lost a thumb helping me with this project....YIKES-oh..i would have felt horrible

I made this shirt today too..for Mr. B's big 3rd birthday coming up

the kids were bathed

Kevin bought Bennett a soccer ball and cleats for his soccer season starting on his birthday...
it was a good day:


Most days i'm happy if i get each child fed and kept safe. Anything on top of that is gravy. That's not true. I usually am un-happy about the fact that i cant have a moment to myself. There are a million projects in the air, laundry piled up on dryer..clean and dirty..( crap which ones are clean..and which ones dirty?).....toys scattered about the house, i spend more time talking to a 2 year old than adults, I have to ask my husband for the chance to shower or see a friend or write music in order to have the kids watched, i miss GOD with a deep deep empty longing...i miss TIME TIME TIME -unhindered time. i miss sleep. i miss my husband and just running out the door to a concert with him or to dinner...and half the time i have the running question in my head..."How did my parents do it?".......
I am learning i am horribly selfish. I love Kevin and yet most of the time i ask things of him more than converse with him.

these are many days...i am ashamed to admit....

but some days......i look at my wonderful husband in the eye and am deeply thankful and full of love for him, and have the capacity/energy to tell him and show him...
some days i've had a good nights sleep....( thanks to my parents sleep training AMOS LAST WEEK....THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU..its a gift that keeps giving)
Some days i see my sweet baby and can barely keep myself from EATING him...he's so dang cute...i have to just squeeze his thighs...
some days im overwhelmed with the gift i have in staying home and hearing Bennett's funny comments and teaching him every day things that tears of joy come to my eyes...
some days i sense GOD..and His love while im folding the 3rd load of laundry....
some days...both boys sleep at the same time and i can let the worries of the world fall away and BE CREATIVE....today i worked on a few things..preparing for Bennett's 3rd birthday.....time ticking in my ears....a smile on my face...i worked as though each minute were gold....
i CREATED...

5 comments:

The Morginskys said...

so, so true! some days it feels like its too much, some days it feels like its not enough, and some times you get a glimpse of glory.
i am so glad you got to experience that today! i love you!

kierstin said...

mandy--i resonated with nearly every single word of this post. somehow, it is so reassuring to peek out from my own laundry pile and read this...to realize that my friends are having the same experience as i am most days. it can be so challenging, but days like today, when you get a minute to create, to find joy, to realize how blessed you are instead of just how exhausted you are, these are the ones to hold onto. (umm, i also related to wanting to *eat* your baby :) because you are so consumed by the sweetness of them that it seems the only logical thing to do. :) thanks for this post. i'll be rereading it often.

kierstin said...

also, LOOOOOVVVVEEEE the cork board.

Thesupermanns said...

thanks friends...you make me feel less lonely. (not that im always lonely..but its like what Kierstin said....its realizing we arent alone in this hard, beautiful journey..
glad you like the cork board Kierstin...

mallory said...

you are such a great mommy--i can so relate to your post. thanks for being real and honest. i love that about you. miss you and Happy Birthday Bennett!!