Gentle Gentle white comes down...quiet is the sky. The red sled is propped up against the front door worn and obviously loved. We have been down many hills. It takes a rest as the two boys do. My friend Faith knocks on the door and comes in for a while. Conversations among coffee and cream. She drinks hers with honey. Tomato soup and grilled cheese fill tummies. Faith sings a tune of her own breaking out in song. She does this quite often and it makes me smile. When the boys are awake it makes them dance. She fills this house with melody. It's good to have her here. We talk about life and GOD and heart longings. The days seems hushed and sleepy, but i'm not tired. We are both awake and warm instead. I'm warm with today and warm with tomorrow. Warm with the knowing that the little boys will wake and fill this home with boy noise and toys...jingle jangle...jibber jabber. The baby will walk from room to room...arms open wide for balance and a big smile on his face. His new found freedom will be applauded by all. I'm warm with the knowing that i head to the beach tomorrow with some good friends...Boarding a plane bound for sunshine amidst snowy skies. No diapers are packed, no laundry agenda, no cleaning up mess but my own.., no interrupted thoughts by little voices ( although they are precious, no schedule, no bedtime routine, no sticky hands reaching for whatever is in my hand. I am both nervous and excited about all this. I will miss them terribly and im not saying that i wont pack a baby blanket in my suitcase to sleep with. I will miss their smell. I will miss the things im running away from. I know this means more work for my wonderful husband. Kevin is so good with the kids. But i know it will be HARD. There is guilt knowing HE NEEDS A VACATION TOO. GOD provide that for him. My parents are amazing and will come up and help. The kids love them and this gives me rest and a thankful heart.I am indebted to these helping hands.
I am warm with the memory of this morning with Bennett. We went on a walk in the snow with our dog. Black lab running free in white snow. It does my heart good to see the animal free and happy. Chasing a ball with snow covered snout. i said to Bennett "look how beautiful the snow sets in the trees. The branches are pretty aren't they?. Bennett replied "yes, are you happy mom?" My heart broke a little and i realized that Bennett asks me if im "happpy" at least 5 times a day these days. It makes me wonder if he thinks i'm unhappy ( which sometimes i really am when he's wrestling AMos to the ground or asking 100 X in a row for a snack that i said he couldnt have...but,i digress and get back to the beautiful conversation in the snow.) i said .."yes, i am happy...isn't GOD amazing? He makes beautiful things?" and Bennett said "yes, He's got the whole world in His hands"......
My mama heart knows this comment originated from church and not his heart...but this is the beginning of his walk...his walk with wonder and delightful glimpses of the Maker. May He know GOD as the Maker of good things. May He know this on his own, and not be spoon fed anything untrue. I want to be careful of this.
My heart is warm with the knowing my husband and i will have a date tonight. WITH THE KIDS. but we call it a date and dress nicer and we are more intentional. We get Thai food...yahoo. My heart is warm with Bennett's request to wear his Halloween "Fire Man" outfit to the restaurant tonight......
speaking of fire and warmth..my "warm" and fuzzy feelings are wearing off as the demands of the day are tugging at my sleeves..my friend is gone..my boys are waking. i leave the blog world until i return from the beach...blessings fellow bloggers, or you 5 faithful readers! May your days be filled with warmth...
p.s. i got a really awesome camera for Christmas and these pics are not from that ( in case you were wondering dad).. i am afraid to get it near snow. More from that camera to come this year.
2 comments:
Ahh, so excited you get to go to the beach with some sweet friends!!! Your heart needs that! I hope Kevin knows we are always here if he needs ANYTHING while mama is away playing :) Enjoy the sun my friend!
It is a good thing for Kevin to be with his sons without mom around. Some real male bonding will happen! So you have a great time at the beach and know all is well. I love your posts, Mandy. They are so deep and real and authentic. You have the gift of song but also the gift of words. Have fun! Soak up the sun! Rest in Him. And, Kevin---well done!
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