i have a small fever today. 101.2 the thermometer keeps telling me. i can't stop taking my temperature because it offers me some type of empathy. ha ha. If i can't have my mama..i can at least have the thermometer. It's like a little friend that tells me "yes, i know you don't feel well. i read your pain". Whenever i get the illness that my kids just had, my first thought is "Oh wow....they really were sick and had a reason to be so fussy". Amos had a reason to pitch a fit at Puckett's restaurant yesterday on our little family date. He had reason to kick his legs and arch his back as i put him in the high chair before the meal he would soon vomit up. He had good reason to not finish the $5 food we bought him. And that reason came out in projectile form all over our kitchen floor soon after. At that very moment our neighbors' dog, that we are taking care of, licked it up while i yelled "NO...go away Zoe..! " and Amos screamed terror from what just unvoluntarily happened to his little body. Bennett swung open the back door yelling "Daddy! come watch me play drums", and Kevin calmly assured Amos it would be ok while bringing him to the bath.
A day in the life. Life....life is crazy huh?
I am thankful for my boys. Thankful still.......Thankful for the moments that bring me to need. To realize i need Him. I need Him. I will always, always need Jesus.
The sickness in my body, the war inside that is leaving me warm and achy is also hushing the worries of the world that tug at my sleeves...( the laundry, the dishes, the hedges that need trimming, the kids crying, the projects un-finished, esp. my first photo shoot that i so wanted to edit today with my new photoshop tools (those will be featured soon)...but not today....
no not today. Today i open the Word and rest in bed a moment. I would not have come here otherwise. If not for the fever and aches calling me to lie down in fields of white sheets and puffy pillows....
i open and read..John 4
"everyone who drinks water will become thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water i give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water i give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life"
i think a moment. Never thirst? i still thirst for so much of the wrongs to be made right in this world, in my world...i still thirst. But actually deep deep inside. i guess i don't to some degree. Also...springs of living water welling up?
I wouldn't call my life a "Spring of living water"...haha.
but actually deep deep down. i feel a small welling up. a tiny current collecting that from time to time does flow over. but just from time to time. It seems a welling over outside my control and that's nice. From time to time.
The little guy sleeps now. He's all tucked under covers with pacifier in mouth and a black eye from falling on the playground. Sweet Aimes, rest well my love, my sweet growing baby.
Soon the hour will come to pick up Bennett at Mother's Day out. The car will get loud with requests, and hungry tummy's will growl. Two barking dogs will greet us at the gate and caos will return to the Mann household till about 7:30 pm. i too will bark, but bark commands to the kids. During all of this i want to remember what i learned in the quiet moment i shared here....
that yet, He says HE gives, (i dont conjure up),
a spring of water that wells up within....
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