Move On

"Moses answered the people, ' do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance The Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.'

Then the Lord said to Moses, 'Why are you crying out to me? Tell the Israelites to Move on"

Exodus 14:14-15

 I gaze as far as the eye can see, out to the ominous dark blue.  The further you go, the darker it will  be, hiding all sorts of danger. Don't go too far. You'll drown or something out there will getcha.

 I live at the shore playing around, content to be "safe" in the warmer transparent green. But every now and then,  i feel His hand on my back pushing me towards the dark blue. "No!", i object with a wide stance and push back with my might...all my little might. He's so gentle in response..stops the pushing for the greater purpose of resting His hand upon my shoulder and letting me know He's near as my heart breaks. Broken for what could be...but i just can't... for now...and we talk and I'm happy in my disillusionment of "safety" and comfort. Sometimes so content that i forget He's there...i begin to believe He's not.

Yet, His persistent desire  for me to have more in the darker blue keeps Him pushing in ways i can't really explain...a pull inside my heart that causes water to fall out my eyes, a passing wind of a thought that reoccurs again and again .....and again, until i know it's not my thought at all.
Boredom with my world...a longing for MORE...

I'm afraid and full of excuses towards the dark blue. Lord, i don't know how? i can't?.....how do i stay afloat and alive out in that dark blue?